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Updated: Mar 28, 2020

Define Happiness.

As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I’ve had the ability to interact with many people from different ethnicities traveling on this journey called Life. When asked, “What determines happiness?” most people responded by stating “having money, a great job, a house, car, the latest fashion, popularity, attention, a family, and being in a relationship.”

These responses are a reminder that people are unaware of what true happiness looks like. Happiness is something that you can control and comes from within. It occurs when you are at peace with your circumstances. Happiness also originates from self love. Society has taught individuals, starting from childhood, that material things, work, and other people create happiness; however, those things mask what individuals are struggling with internally. After awhile, it becomes difficult to keep up a facade. Some turn towards substance use in order numb emotions, and avoid addressing the underlying problem.

In order to experience happiness, one must free his/herself from past mistakes, hurt from family, friends, work, the church or a significant other. One must free his/herself from guilt and shame due to poor decisions. The media has played a major role in making people believe that if they don’t have it all together then they have no power or control over their life. In reality, no one has it all together.The people who seem too, really have their own internal battles that they are struggling with on a daily basis. When your identity is based on deception, sooner or later it will create destruction.

Eventually, what’s manifested on the inside will flourish externally. When it does, it can lead to an increase in physical, emotional, spiritual, and financial pain There’s a quote I use with clients by John Webster and it states, “We think caged birds sing, when indeed they cry.” Are you crying out for help too? Are you self sabotage due to fear? Are you struggling with vulnerability? Are you ready to live an abundant life?

If you’ve answered yes to any of the questions, then it is time to take responsibility for your actions. Get up, walk alone if necessary, and divorce yourself from the opinions of others. Reset your mind, address your problems, and rebuild your life. It’s time to Choose the art of L.O.V.E (Life, Opportunity, Vulnerability, and Empathy). It’s time to be happy.

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